Saturday, January 07, 2006

NINE O' CLOCK, NINE STRANGERS, NINE LIVES

Sometime around nine o' clock
it was one of those moments in time
where nine strangers who were minding their own business
were all brought together
by being at the wrong place
at the wrong time.

They all happened to be randomly
looking at the same spot at the same time.
When it occurred, there were the mutters of
"No" and "Christ" and other discipherable things of the like.

Nine seconds later,
one older man sitting at an outdoor table,
two people from a nearby bus bench,
one guy walking towards an empty table with his tea,
three scraggly punk rock teenagers sitting on a bench,
and a mother and daughter in their truck at the tri-light,
all crossed the street at the various intersections
and gathered at the same corner.

Whatever the strangers were thinking beforehand
were all forgotten and they became all
filled with sorrow.
Even the mannequin in the storefront window
looked sullen with its head tilted downward.
It did not look good.
It really did not.

The daughter grabbed a blanket from her truck
and drove it away.
As they all walked back to where they were,
one of them sadly thought to himself,
I guess that was its ninth life.


Monday, December 12, 2005

SUSPICIONS IN THE HOOD
Last week, Pesusich noticed Simon the gnome lured his neighbour Boyd into a night of drunken debachery. A few nights since, Pesusich believed that Boyd & Simon the gnome has engaged in some hot & sweaty one-night stands. (Oh wait, it can't be called one-night stands if it happened a few times, but you catch my drift.)

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UN RECENT RANDOM BARAGE DE MISCELLANEOUS MIERDE

HOW TO MAKE A LARGE GATHERING OF PEOPLE INSTANTLY CRY AT ONCE
1. PACK A CHURCH AT A FUNERAL FOR A FOUR-YEAR OLD GIRL.
2. AT THE END OF THE FUNERAL SERVICE, JUST AS THE PALLBEARERS
BEGAN TO MOVE THE COFFIN FROM THE HEAD OF THE CHURCH TO
THE EXIT, HAVE THE FOUR-YEAR OLD GIRL'S PRE-SCHOOL CLASS
GATHER & SING THAT LITTLE DITTY,
"YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE, MY ONLY SUNSHINE, YOU MAKE ME HAPPY
WHEN SKIES ARE GREY,......"
ouch!

* = SHE LEFT BEHIND HER FOUR-YEAR OLD TWIN BROTHER. DOUBLE-OUCH!

BEST RECENT ONE-LINER AT A CONCERT
BLACK HEART PROCESSION @ SPACELAND, BETWEEN SONGS:
PALL JENKINS (singer): "We should have our new album out by May 2006.That is if we get our shit together." (pauses) (points to himself) "Stoner." (points to Tobias, keyboardist) "Drunk."

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THERE WERE THREE DETECTIVES STANDING IN A BAR......
At a bar with a gang detective, burglary detective, and an assault detective, we were talking about music and the gang detective told the burglary detective, "Hey so-and-so, you look like you were into '80s music." The burglary detective answered, "Oh yeh, definitely. As a matter of fact, I was looking through some family photos recently and found a picture of me with a mullet, a cut-off Journey t-shirt, and wearing my tight Jordache jeans. And that picture was taken last year."

Thursday, October 27, 2005


"COME ALONG WITH US,
COME ALONG TO AWESOMETOWN"
AWESOMETOWN is one of the reasons why I think the internet
is the best thing sliced sliced bread. You have to watch their
comedy, because if you haven't seen it.......then you should.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

TALES FROM THE SECOND-FLOOR BALCONY
Photo Hosted at Buzznet.com
For this week's recent episode, click here.

Thursday, October 20, 2005



PET PEEVES & ONE-WAY TICKETS

1. Supermarket workers and customers who waste paper
& plastic bags on groceries when customers could just use
canvas bags or supermarket workers really don't have to
double-plastic when a customer just buys like one bar of
soap. (Just give them the receipt and let them
carry the
soap like they did when they walked to the register.)


2. Maybe it's just me, but the noticeably increase in
people peddling
for spare change. When I want to go to
the market or the gas station or
get coffee, it just seems
like a prerequisite nowadays that I have to deal with a
peddler before I enter the joint.

3. People complaining about the weather.
You know that one phrase:
"As a rule, man's a fool.
When it's hot, he wants it cool.
When it's cool, he wants it hot,

he always wants what it is not."

4. The government, from Cali governor Schwarzeneggar
to
President George W. Bush. Continuing to screw the
people time and time
again as well as people in other
countries. It's nothing new or suprising, just hella irritating.

5. Tipping Should Only Be A City In China -
and for waitresses
in restaurants, but not for bartenders
(who just get a glass, quickly add
some scotch & water,
then take your money. A $1 for that!??!?)
or Togo's
sandwich's (your job is to make the sandwiches, I go to
the counter, you don't come to my seat and take my
order), or gas station registers ("I'll take $25 on 6 and
hey, you did that well, here's a buck.") I would much
rather see a tip jar on a teacher or professor's desk.


With the way things are going here, I just might want
to buy a one-way ticket to Dubai, UAE (pictured abouve.)
But definitely not buy a one-way ticket to
Celebration, Florida.

Friday, October 14, 2005




AND ALL THE GHOULS GO IN THE NIGHT,
"I REMEMBER HALLOWEEN." - glenn danzig

Looking for a double-good Halloween prop? How about a Head In A Jar?